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Almost-Poetry


How To Replace a Flat Tire

First you let loose all your favorite expletives,
And drive off the highway as far as possible to be safe.

Then explain to you passengers that they had better get out of the car,
And turn on your flashers.

Then take your spare and the jack out of the trunk,
And start jacking the car up.

Loosen the nuts before the wheel is in the air,
Then take them totally off when it is.

Pull the wheel off and replace it with the spare,
And put the nuts back on and hand-tighten.

Then, when you have lowered the car,
Tighten the nuts as hard as you can,
And put the flat wheel and the jack in the trunk.

Remember:
If this is your first time: lefty-loosy, righty-tighty,
and the air-pressure valve always faces out.
You might need to take a hubcap off to get to the nuts.
If one nut is different, this is a security nut,
look in the glove box for a special tool.
Most shops can fix flats while you wait,
and it's inexpensive.

Voila!
don't look now but . . .

John Dalston
How To Replace a Flat Tire, 2007
words in cyberspace
This almost-poem is mostly informative, we don't think of this kind of stuff as art, it wasn't really meant to be art, and it has little artistic significance. However: You might want to print it and keep it in your car (just in case). [AAR-5, AAR-6, AAR-7, AAR-8]


 

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